This is just a working theory, but I’ve noticed that there’s a direct correlation between the obnoxious value of a toy gifted to your child and the amount of obnoxiousness you’ve bestowed upon the giver over the years. It’s like revenge disguised as love, wrapped in festive paper with curly bows.
For instance, my brother gave Abby a tea set for her birthday. Now this seems harmless and sweet enough at first glance. Until you notice the button that plays music, complete with quaint British accent. Which she likes to push. Over and over and over. And over, ad infinitum. Until it seeps into my brain and I wake up screaming about tea cups and plastic danishes.
I always thought I was a fairly decent sister. Apparently, he would disagree. We are 7 years apart with not much in common, so our time together was usually rather limited. However, I would try to tag along whenever I could. And I eavesdropped on more than a handful of telephone conversations. I even may have hit him as hard as I could in an area where guys prefer not to be hit, more than once, just because, as a little kid, I thought it was funny. I can understand why he may still hold some ill-will towards that one.
It’s not as if he was always so nice to me, either. We had the typical brother/sister relationship. Since I was younger, it was easy to either ignore me entirely or manipulate my naive mind for his gain. I can’t even count how many times I was grounded just by following his lead. Which reminds me, I think my nephew is in need of a drum set this year.