Spellcheck Seems to Think I’m Spelling ‘Breastfeeding’ Wrong

There are some things that just aren’t explained as fully as they should be, particularly on the subject of children. Well, I mean, life itself would be a lot easier if it came with a manual, but I’d settle for one about mothering.

Now, I try not to talk about anything that could be classified as too much information on this blog. I don’t want to embarrass myself or my family any more than I already have. However, even though this has to do with my boobs and who knows the Google searches that may pop up as a result, it’s also Abby’s main source of nourishment. Take it as you will.

To make a long story short, and because the longer version that I just tried to type out was in no way coherent, I’ll simply summarize: whilst breastfeeding, do not go to bed with a breast you know is fuller than it should be or else you may very well wake up with a clogged milk duct. Not to mention a puddle and overall swirled in a blender feeling. Unless, of course, you’re the lucky sort and beam rainbows from your eyes. In which case, I hate you.

Luckily, I’ve never had to deal with full-fledged mastitis or thrush, although I’m not exactly jumping for joy here. I can’t even imagine how anything can be worse, unless somehow a rhinoceros horn was rammed into my nipple. Repeatedly. And even that might be an improvement.

At the very beginning of a breastfeeding relationship while still under hospital care, you have nurses after consultants after passing strangers trying to tell you how it should be done. Switch sides. Switch positions. Don’t do this but be sure to do this. If you get mastitis or thrush go to the doctor. But they never really say why or what will happen. They fail to tell you that if you don’t follow directions, you could wake up one morning fully willing to sell your soul to Satan if he’d just turn your boob back into the saggy, pain-free mound of amicable fatty tissue you know and love.

  1. 8 Responses

  2. By Krystyn on Oct 8, 2009

    Ouch….I’m totally remembering that pain! I hope it gets unclogged.

    When that happened I was constantly massaging, hot showering and offering up that one first…and pumping it, too!

    Oh, now my boobs ache for you.
    Krystyn´s latest blog post: Honesty is the best policy….right?

    By C. (Kid Things) on October 8th, 2009

    @Krystyn, Thank you. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

  3. By Corinne on Oct 8, 2009

    I am so sorry, but your last sentence has me cracking up! It’s so true. I’m sorry you’re going through that, it’s not fun in the least :(
    Corinne´s latest blog post: You Caputure – Red

  4. By Midwest Mommy on Oct 8, 2009

    Oh god I had that mastitis or as my husband thought I kept saying “my titties” MEN! I can’t remember what I did but I remember it even hurt when I put the seatbelt on in the car. I’ll see if I can find the post.
    Good luck I know your pain.

  5. By Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com on Oct 9, 2009

    SO TRUE. And also I am SO SORRY that you had to live through that horror. Ugh. You know, I’ve learned so much more about breastfeeding from just doing it than I did from any nurses or consultants, but every now and then I run into something like the engorged, red, throbbing, clogged duct because my baby didn’t drain me before I fell asleep, and then I wonder why the nurses and consultants couldn’t have warned me about that. I mean, they spent sooooo much time talking about the right positions, which, PLEASE, doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out, but they couldn’t warn me about clogged milk ducts? REALLY?

    Anyway, I hope it doesn’t happen again!!
    Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com´s latest blog post: A chat about the waterworks.

  6. By warmchocmilk on Oct 9, 2009

    Okay that’s one thing I’m convicted about! Breastfeeding is HUGE to me. Great job mom!! Oh and I think spell check thinks it two words Breast Feeding. I’ve run into that trouble before..to me it’s one word. I’m followin’ ya baby!!

  7. By jennifer, playgroups are no place for children on Oct 11, 2009

    UGH, clogged ducts are awful. Waking up in a pool of milk is awful. I did have mastitis with my first son. I remember thinking how cruel it was to be so sick from doing something as selfless as popping out my boob for my screaming baby every 2.5 hours.

  8. By Amber on Oct 11, 2009

    Oh man, breastfeeding. I still remember the pain.

    I mean, it was worth it, obviously, but ouch.
    Amber´s latest blog post: The Brownie Trick

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