Seven

December 03 2009 · comment 5 Comments
Posted in: Favorites, Me Myself · Tags:

This morning, I had an appointment for my annual exam. I found myself sitting in a room that I hadn’t been in since Maddie was a newborn, looking around at all the pregnancy paraphernalia. Along with signs and brochures, there was a poster on the wall illustrating the 9 month transformation from embryo to baby. Even though I had seen it all before, been witness to it’s power first hand, I was transfixed.

I did that. I had that. 3 successful times. 4 others that were not. The embryo illustrated at 8 weeks, which is when all of my miscarriages occurred, was so small, looking nothing like a baby. But it’s eyes, it read, would have been completely formed.

I felt a slight ping of envy. Suddenly, I missed being pregnant. I would almost say that for a brief second, I contemplated doing it all over again. Do I want another baby?

That’s when my doctor walked in, clearly expecting herself.

We made pleasantries, like always. She asked how I was, problems I may have been having. All while I’m dressed in a rather revealing robe. Then, she wondered how I was getting along with my IUD. No complaints, I replied.

“Do you want any more kids?”, she asked in her line of questions.

“No”, I immediately answered, without even thinking.

“Well, that was quick,” she jumped, slightly taken aback.

“That’s how done I am”, I realized. And it was. It is. I guess that’s my answer right there. I am done. I am a mother to 7; 3 here with us, 4 someplace else. But 7 nonetheless. I’ve made peace with that. I am full. Done. Complete.

  1. 5 Responses

  2. By Candace on Dec 3, 2009

    Crying
    *hugs*
    Candace´s latest blog post: Hello December, Already?

  3. By Corinne on Dec 3, 2009

    I had no idea… I’m glad you’re at peace with such a difficult decision.
    Corinne´s latest blog post: You Capture – Happy story

  4. By Midwest Mommy on Dec 3, 2009

    I am done too. This weekend we were cleaning out the garage and the hubs wanted to get rid of some baby stuff. I felt a surge all of a sudden that I couldn’t, wouldn’t get rid of baby stuff yet. It’s weird when I know I am done and I really am done it makes me want it all over again. It’s so strange. So needless to say the hubs agreed to let me keep it all one more year, lol.
    Midwest Mommy´s latest blog post: A Letter

  5. By Aunt Becky on Dec 3, 2009

    I finally hit that point too. I never thought I’d be able to say it but yeah, totally.

    Sending you a big hug. It’s not easy.
    Aunt Becky´s latest blog post: Aunt Becky Is Annexed To Canada

  6. By mamatulip on Dec 7, 2009

    After years of wanting to have three children, I feel pretty strongly that we’re done at two.

    I think.

Comments will close 7 days from the date posted. Images will be deleted after 30 days.