Sorry Kids, Santa Hates You

The last time we tried to visit Santa, it didn’t go so well. It was 2 years ago. Even though we were able to wave hello from a considerable distance, Buzz was too young to comprehend what was going on and Jedi would have nothing more to do with him.

This year, we thought we’d try again. Jedi is a lot more outgoing now and Buzz has a stronger grasp of the concept. Of course, Abby would think it’s nothing more than a white beard in a red suit, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad odds.

In fact, “Santa” even sent text messages meant for Jedi. Saying, in part, how he was thrilled to meet him. Oh, and to stop picking his nose. That Santa, he’s always watching.

Buzz was just excited.

We make it to the mall and walk around aimlessly for awhile. We try to find a double stroller to rent, but none are available. That should have been our first clue as to how the day would end. We go up and down the escalator, then the elevator, because this is like a cheap carnival ride to the kids. Finally, we wind our way to Santa.

We stop and gawk and point. Buzz’s eyes are the size of saucers. Jedi is practically bouncing. We take our place at the end of a relatively gentle line and prepare to wait. That’s when the man ahead of us whispers to J. Because this is our luck, Santa is about to go on break after their turn. For an hour. OF COURSE.

Well, screw you, too, Santa.

Instead, we drove around again in search of Christmas light displays. It wasn’t Santa up close and personal, but we saw a few of the inflatable kind. At least they don’t crush the spirits of little boys by going on break right before their turn.