About Last Night

Shortly after everyone went to bed last night, Buzz began to toss and turn constantly. He wouldn’t settle. At first, I thought maybe he couldn’t get comfortable. Then he started to whine, though, and that quickly turned to full-blown tears. For awhile, he was crying so hard I was afraid he would make himself sick.

During this, I also had to comfort Abby since she had been woken up, too. I figured one kid asleep, at least, is better than both awake and screaming. This meant that I had to leave Buzz crying by himself, however, which I hated doing. Luckily, J came in about this time and took over while I resettled Abby.

After what seemed like hours, but I think in reality was about 30 minutes, everyone calmed down. I told J to go back to bed. Abby was sound asleep, so my attention could focus again on Buzz. He was still wide awake, tears clinging to his cherubic cheeks. Nestling in beside him, I pulled the bedspread up to his chin and held him close. His shaggy hair tickled my nose as I wrapped my arm around him as tight as I could, his foot sticking in my side. That’s how we fell asleep.

It was a horrible night. I have no idea what was wrong, aside from a bit of congested cough this morning. But sleeping like that next to my little boy, the one who is always on the go and so destructive and non-compliant during the day, the one who steals away every ounce of patience I’ve stored. I feel as if I’m screaming at him constantly. This, quiet and tender and sweet, was a nice change of pace.

Today, he’s back to himself again. I’m watching and waiting and hoping the cough doesn’t progress any further. While I don’t wish for a repeat of last night, I’m going to try to hold onto it’s finer moments. I hope it might help both of us slow down a little.