Boys and Their Guns
My parents were over the other day for awhile. Jedi happily ran around them, telling imaginative tales and wanting to share toys. He handed my dad one of his many plastic guns and they boom boom boomed for a few minutes from the comfort of our couch. The entire time I could practically hear my mother as she huffed and puffed and shook her head in disapproval.
My son likes guns.
He’s a boy, though. He likes pistols and tanks and Army men and semi-automatic weapons and camouflage and bombs and blood and stuff that blows up and zombies. All with lights! and live-action sounds! He’s not violent, he never pretends to shoot real people, just monsters and imaginary bad guys. Of course I would prefer that he took up cupcake decorating, but it goes without saying by now that I lost that battle. Instead, I let it go. I made sure that Jedi knows the difference between a REAL gun and a TOY gun and what might happen if he were to ever play with a REAL gun. I’ve said it over and over, and will continue to reiterate, you never ever play with a REAL gun. Ever.
There is no point in huffing and puffing and shaking your head in disapproval. I know where she’s coming from, I do, I was the same, but if I can let it go then she should, too. Or else I might have to remind her how my brother used to hide in trees and shoot people on a golf course with a BB gun they gave him. If she really wants to shake her head over something, shake it over that.
I'm Crystal. A 30-something mom to 3 young kids living in the Midwest USA. When I'm not chasing my children, I'm a freelance writer and web designer. I like to tell stories from our days and share what we enjoy...
15 Responses
on May 28 2010
I have a little girl, but was a little hesitant even bringing a water gun in the house. I am from Texas and the gun culture is everywhere.
I like your approach. Explaining what is real and what is not and reiterating the difference to your children. I loved the way you weaved letting go as a part of this post. Sometimes we have to embrace it as much as we don’t want to.
.-= Rudri Patel´s latest blog post: I Am A Tourist =-.
on May 28 2010
Oh my gosh – that is so funny and so true. Great point to make with your mom!
I have three boys and everything is a gun. Actually right now, everything is a light saber. But, still, the same thing!
on May 28th, 2010
@Cathy, My kids have all kinds of light sabers, too. I think those are what started it all.
on May 28 2010
You are so right – for the most part (my nephew being one of those exceptions who likes all his sisters dress up clothes, dancing and playing all her games) boys will be boys and girls will be girls but whatever they enjoy in innocent childhood fun should be encouraged, because they need to let loose with those imaginations and just play. Great post – explaining to your son what is and is not allowed is the perfect way to deal with it all.
on May 28 2010
You must read this article! http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/23/AR2007022301749.html
.-= Christine LaRocque´s latest blog post: Am I there yet? =-.
on May 28th, 2010
@Christine LaRocque, That article was perfect. Absolutely, 100% perfect. And so, so true. Thank you for that!
on May 28 2010
Great post. My boys are the same way — there’s no fighting it.
.-= Sarah´s latest blog post: Parenting in the news: swim, summer and sun =-.
on May 28 2010
I’ve read tons of articles recently about the huge disservice we’re doing to boys by denying their more active nature, expecting them to sit still all the time and treating them like criminals if they express an interest in guns or swords or whatever. It is important for them to play makebelieve in the ways that come naturally for them and yes, of course making sure they know that REAL guns are bad and should never be touched and the sanctity of life.
on May 28 2010
I’m picturing the cupcake-decorating battle. Now THAT would have been something to see!
.-= Melissa´s latest blog post: six word fridays: wishing =-.
on May 28th, 2010
@Melissa, I ate all the evidence.
on May 28 2010
This is so timely. I asked my 9 yr old son if he’d like to attend a cupcake-decorating how-to day camp and he said, “Don’t they have something fun … like targeting shooting?” This from a kid who has only recently been able to play with even toy guns!
I am extremely uncomfortable with guns and knives as toys, but it was inevitable (one day he fashioned a gun out of two legs and some bread crust), so I enrolled him in a gun safety course.
I feel much better about the whole thing knowing that he has a healthy respect and understanding of real guns, which makes toy guns harmless.
.-= Kelly´s latest blog post: QOTD: On Wednesday =-.
on May 29 2010
I have done a lot of reading, and I am currently in the camp that says gun play is OK. It gives kids a chance to work out this sort of thing in a safe way. Which is really what play is for. As I understand it, there is no association between gun play in childhood and violent adults.
But it’s easy for me to say that NOW. My daughter has no interest in gun play, and my son is 21 months. He’s just getting into cars. We’ll see how I feel the first time he points a stick and me and makes shooting sounds.
.-= Amber´s latest blog post: I Can’t Believe I’m Talking about Epidurals =-.
on May 29 2010
I started out not allowing my boys to play with guns, but gave up when they bit their sandwiches into gun shapes and started shooting each other at the table.
on May 30 2010
If he ever decides to decorate cupcakes and shoot the messed-up ones, I’ll take the destroyed little cupcake pieces off his hands. =>
And I agree totally with your approach … Let it go. Talk about the difference between “real” and “pretend.” And let boys be boys. (Of course, I say that now, when my little guy is still in his train phase. We haven’t moved on to weaponry yet. Soon, very soon.)
.-= Stacia´s latest blog post: Haiku Friday =-.
on June 01 2010
I’m not FOR guns, but I’m not entirely against them either. My husband and I gun-owning families, so my kids are going to be exposed to them as some point.
I think it’s best to let the play run its course, but teach kids to respect weapons. Like you said, make sure they know the difference between what’s real and pretend. Then, on top of that, maybe time and place.
“Hey, can the pistol talk when Granny’s around, mmm-kay”
.-= Formerly Gracie´s latest blog post: Tuesdays with Avery (and Ansley, too) =-.