An Experimental Approach When All Else Fails
Buzz has a tendency to run amok. He is high energy, that kid. I was hoping it was something that would miraculously fix itself at daybreak on his 4th birthday, but he’s still going strong. He finds any opportunity he can to dart away, out of arm’s length, and simply laughs when I try to call him back. He keeps me on my exhausted toes.
He has speech class on Thursday afternoons. We sit in the waiting room and while he can be antsy, he’s usually patient enough. This last time, though, he was everywhere. Trying to run out the door or weave between chairs. Or simply anywhere away from me. I’d get up to chase him when all other options failed and immediately felt as if I transformed into “that” parent. The one who doesn’t have a handle on anything. The one who should give a call to Nanny 911. It’s bad enough when he’s on his worst behavior at home, but it’s so much worse out in public.
I could have focused on this and been upset, with him and my inabilities. It wouldn’t have been unheard of. Instead, I’ve been making a more conscientious effort to say please and thank you. Positive reinforcement in lieu of negative admonishment. There in the waiting room, after holding him back yet again, I forced myself full of affirmation. Because God knows the alternative wasn’t working.
Thank you for turning around. Thank you for keeping me on my toes. Thank you for your energy. Thank you for your smile. Thank you for showing me a different way. Thank you for those brief moments to catch my breath. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being my son.
Now, PLEASE, sit down and stop it.
I'm Crystal. A 30-something mom to 3 young kids living in the Midwest USA. When I'm not chasing my children, I'm a freelance writer and web designer. I like to tell stories from our days and share what we enjoy...
10 Responses
on July 20 2010
This is why I avoid taking my children out in public as much as humanly possible. I always feel like a failure and cringe at what people are probably thinking of me.
TheKitchenWitch’s latest post: Summer in the Med
on July 20 2010
Buzz and K sound really similar. It is totally exhausting being a parent to K too. I’ve also been making a huge effort to using positive affirmation instead of focusing on the negative – but oh how difficult it is.
I’m very sad that Buzz didn’t just click on his 4th b-day. I’ve been holding that hope out for K when his rolls around in a couple of months.
Marilyn’s latest post: The List- Preschool TV Shows That Send Me Over the Edge
on July 22nd, 2010
@Marilyn, I’m now holding out the same hope for age 5. It’s only 9 months away. Ha! If I don’t go completely insane by then.
on July 20 2010
Sometimes it gets so hard to tame their spirit, but if we just let them be who they are it is easier to accept. But I totally understand about the public places – I think we all have been there.
Rudri Patel’s latest post: Thank You
on July 20 2010
I’ve got to try more positive thinking. Thank you for hitting me while you are nursing. Thank you for giggling when I say stop. Thank you, big one, for choosing the moment her eyes close to run in with a loud voice. Wait. I’m just complaining. See, I have much to learn.
on July 20th, 2010
@Kate, There’s some of that, too. I didn’t say positivity was working well, it’s just a test right now.
on July 20 2010
For us, what’s worked best is a mix of both … Positive doesn’t always do it for us. Tabby sometimes needs to know that she can push us too far. My mom likes to say that sometimes one of your best tools as a parent is being human (and having a temper), just like the people in the real world our kids will have to deal with.
On a related note, just saw this list of positive reinforcement techniques and thought I’d pass it along! Good luck with Buzz – I know it can be trying sometimes! You’re doing great to keep the good stuff in mind.
http://www.mydeliciousambiguity.com/2010/07/positive-reinforcement-for-young-kids.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FTUxR+%28Delicious+Ambiguity%29&utm_content=Google+Reader
on July 21st, 2010
@jesser, I know that Buzz usually doesn’t go for positives, I usually have to get pretty tough with him for the point to get through or else he thinks he can keep going with what he’s not supposed to be doing. After being so negative all the time, though, a bit of positive might do more good than anything.
on July 22 2010
Love it! Just today I was slightly admonished for missing a volunteer committee when I said I couldn’t come bc I had no sitter. The woman said “Just bring the children.” And I guffawed like a circus clown and she slightly tsked.
Hello? When you have to be in charge of my children in public we’ll talk. Until then? STFU.
Kelly’s latest post: The King
on July 22nd, 2010
@Kelly, Oh, no. Volunteering is nice and all, but that sounds like a lot more hassle than it would have been worth.