My brother and his family came by this past Friday night to belatedly celebrate my birthday. With food and good times along with a present. Because in they came carrying a pink Victoria’s Secret gift bag.
I like Victoria’s Secret. Just not from my brother.
I tried not to fixate on this gift bag as it sat on the coffee table in front of us while we made small talk. And there it stayed while the kids filled every corner around it with play and amusing dance moves. We ate dinner with it directly in front of me, pink tissue paper billowing from the top, and watched I Am Legend. It was difficult to pay attention, however, as this bag kept me captivated from the corner of my eye. But not once did I peek in, because frankly I was scared.
When it was time to open my birthday gift, my brother’s girlfriend must have finally took notice of my trepidation. She explained, “We didn’t get you Victoria’s Secret. It was just the only feminine kind of bag I had.”.
“Oh, phew!”, I responded as my apprehension lightened. “Because that would have been awkward.”
We all had a mighty laugh at just how awkward it could have been as I reached into that Victoria’s Secret bag. And instead of being presented with underwear, however, I was given by my brother an adjustable, handheld “massager”. With, as the package states, a smooth tip and 3 side surfaces for “energizing relief of stress related tension”. For personal use only.
Still a little bit awkward.