A Beeping Public Service Announcement


One eye shot open. The television in the room was still on, but everything past that was dark and hazy. I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but it couldn’t have been not too long before. Jimmy Fallon was the last I recalled and now it was on some late night poker tournament. Maybe I didn’t really hear anything. If I did it could have come from the TV. I just wanted to go back to sleep. My head turned towards the clock, sight still fuzzy and lids fighting to close, before I rested on the pillow again.

It was almost 1:30 a.m.


What the beep? I tried to will my tired eyes to cooperate as I begrudgingly pulled myself like the walking dead from the comfort and lumbered in to investigate. All the while, I was pleading under my breath for this not to wake the kids. After taking a moment to clear my head, I realized where the intermittent beeping beep was most likely coming from.


I looked around to make sure there was no immediate danger involved before I took my place under the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. My lopsided, confused gaze passing back and forth, the longest few minutes having passed since I was initially jolted awake. Then it beeped again, and the culprit became known.


Let this be a lesson to you to be wiser than I. Change batteries as instructed in your alarms. Lest you be with a screwdriver in hand, clumsily rotating in a new set of AA’s after being rudely rustled from a lovely bit of slumber at 1:30 in the morning. That’s just motherbeeping rude, I tell you.


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