While You Were Sleeping
His number was 85.
Before bed, when I checked Jedi’s blood sugar last. His number was 85. I wasn’t too concerned at the time, because I know by now how it goes. I adjusted his insulin dose a notch lower, then dispensed a cup of apple juice and a cheesestick for a snack. Afterward, he headed to bed where we said our goodnight. If you need me, I reminded, you know where I am.
Passing by his door a short while later, I stopped to listen. His snores said he was asleep.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t sleep. That 85 that was of little concern at first continued to fester with what ifs. There I laid awake after midnight with that number like a neon sign bright on the ceiling above me. It’s always so hard to know for sure, even with a pattern of history to rely on. I had to check, to be certain. But I didn’t want to wake him. Especially so late.
I didn’t want to wake him.
Procuring a hand from where he had it placed under his pillow, I hesitated while it instinctively clenched then relaxed again. Fumbling through the dark with his diabetes supplies, while he was sleeping and oblivious, I poked the tip of his finger with a lancet. I drew what I needed. And the boy, so used to it by now. He didn’t even flinch.
The meter beeped and I tiptoed out of his room to the light, my little secret kept safe.
His number was 144. I returned to bed and was finally able to sleep.
I'm Crystal. A 30-something mom to 3 young kids living in the Midwest USA. When I'm not chasing my children, I'm a freelance writer and web designer. I like to tell stories from our days and share what we enjoy...
10 Responses
on January 26 2012
What a worry to have to live with. It’s good that he can sleep through it though. I hope you got some sleep.
Amber’s latest post: Patience.
on January 27 2012
I am like you, if I have a nagging feeling I need to take care of it or I can’t sleep.
Also I am trying to get my 6 (!!) year old to sleep through the night w/out pullups so I have been waking him up twice a night to use the bathroom. He’s getting used to it.
Marie@feedingfive’s latest post: Better than Jewelry
on January 29th, 2012
@Marie@feedingfive, Hopefully it all clicks for him so you can get some sleep.
on January 27 2012
So very scary! I would have been like you, too. I would have had to check. Glad it went up like you knew it would.
Krystyn’s latest post: The plan and the bump {38 weeks} | PSF
on January 27 2012
Oh, sweetie. I would do the same. I’m sorry you have this worry to contend with, but know that we’re praying for you guys. xo
Angella’s latest post: Making Me Smile
on January 28 2012
I found you at Motherese. What an appropriate place given the nature of your post. I learned lessons I didn’t sign up for as a mother. My kids had respiratory troubles. I learned to hear the subtlest of changes in their breathing. I knew the triggers.
I could awake out of a sound sleep because I just KNEW. This is the magic of motherhood.
We learn because Love inspires us.
Bless you for all that you have learned for the sake of your child. And may you sleep double for every moment your eyes are closed.
on January 28 2012
The worry is worrisome – there is no thanking a mother enough.
Cathy’s latest post: status report
on January 29 2012
Yup, I definitely have that worry too. When Natalie hit her head I wanted to stay with her all night just to be sure.
Amber’s latest post: I Don’t Kill ALL Plants…
on January 29th, 2012
@Amber, Bonks on the head are the worst. And I don’t know about yours, but it always seem to happen that my kids hit their head right before bed. So then I’m wondering if they’re going to sleep because it’s just time or if they’re going to sleep because of a concussion.
on February 06 2012
These kind of worries are the worst. Like you, I could not fall asleep until I knew. Certainty usually comforts me.
Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri’s latest post: A Design of Hope