I Love the Zoo but It Didn’t Love Me

May 31 2010 · comment 10 Comments
Posted in: Daily · Tags: ,

Dear St. Louis Zoo,

The only zoo I had ever visited previously was our local zoo, which can actually be classified more as a farm. Maybe it doesn’t take a lot to impress me because of this, but I was very impressed. Your zoo is big. And where our local zoo houses donkeys and goats, yours has real wild animals. Sea Lions! Elephants! Bears! Up close and personal. I was possibly more amazed than my kids.

Though my favorite experience, hands down, had to be the hippos. To watch these giant creatures swim directly in front of my boys’ delighted faces, their squeals echoing across the aquarium. This alone was worth the trip.

Unfortunately, I missed some of my other most sought after exhibits. I was unable to see the giraffes and the zebras. The rest of my family did, however, and they took a few blurry iPhone pictures in my absence. Because as they were strolling through that section of animals, my head was busy spinning.

And that is really the point of this letter. I wanted to apologize for getting sick in one of your garbage cans. In front of the food court. I would also like to apologize to the innocent patrons who happened to be in the line of view to such a horrible spectacle. I am so, so sorry. Words can not even say. It was not one of my finer moments.

We do plan to visit again in the future, to hopefully see the number of things that we missed this time around. Like the stingrays and riding the trains, and I would love to witness the giraffes myself. Except we should probably wait until the weather is cooler, since there is just something about the sun and my blaring white skin that do not mix. That is if you don’t have a sign posted, banning my entrance.

Signed,
Let’s never speak of this again, OK?

Boys and Their Guns

May 28 2010 · comment 15 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: , ,

My parents were over the other day for awhile. Jedi happily ran around them, telling imaginative tales and wanting to share toys. He handed my dad one of his many plastic guns and they boom boom boomed for a few minutes from the comfort of our couch. The entire time I could practically hear my mother as she huffed and puffed and shook her head in disapproval.

My son likes guns.

He’s a boy, though. He likes pistols and tanks and Army men and semi-automatic weapons and camouflage and bombs and blood and stuff that blows up and zombies. All with lights! and live-action sounds! He’s not violent, he never pretends to shoot real people, just monsters and imaginary bad guys. Of course I would prefer that he took up cupcake decorating, but it goes without saying by now that I lost that battle. Instead, I let it go. I made sure that Jedi knows the difference between a REAL gun and a TOY gun and what might happen if he were to ever play with a REAL gun. I’ve said it over and over, and will continue to reiterate, you never ever play with a REAL gun. Ever.

There is no point in huffing and puffing and shaking your head in disapproval. I know where she’s coming from, I do, I was the same, but if I can let it go then she should, too. Or else I might have to remind her how my brother used to hide in trees and shoot people on a golf course with a BB gun they gave him. If she really wants to shake her head over something, shake it over that.

Point Noted

May 26 2010 · comment 15 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: , ,

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Abby is a tough little girl. I suppose growing up with two older brothers who aren’t really that much older and still like to drag you along will cause your skin to thicken. She can tumble with the best of them.

She is also very strong-willed, which is a very nice way to say stubborn. She is as stubborn as the sun. Everything is to be done her way or not at all, lest we all hear about it in a very high-pitched fashion.

For the most part, though, she loves to play with her brothers. She usually prefers Buzz to Jedi, but that’s because Jedi is stubborn, too. And bossy. And he complains a lot. And gets upset easily. Buzz is more pliable, but is also more prone to inadvertently hurt her.

Which is how it was going the other day when Jedi and Abby were playing together, and I use that term loosely. He was telling her what to do and she was doing it her way instead. When he decided that he didn’t want to participate anymore. She, however, failed to receive the memo and continued getting in his way. He tried to move her and she’d scratch him. I reprimanded him for pushing her and I reprimanded her for hurting him. It was persistent as Jedi began to whine, irked tears welling in his eyes, feet stomping, vexed beyond measure.

That’s when he turns to me and decries, “This is why we shouldn’t have a toddler!”.

One Ant

May 25 2010 · comment 12 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: , ,

Girl
Making her way to a slide when a black spot is noticed out of the side of her eye. A brief closer inspection affirms its identity. An ant. She takes a few steps back from her intended foothold and begins to scream for daddy, pointing, a look of worried concern embracing her sun-quenched face.

“Fy! Fy!”, she deems.

“No, not a fly”, J corrects. “Just an ant.”

“Ant! Ant!”, she continues to point and screech in his direction until it’s conclusively gone, climbing out of sight and away from the timorous girl. The area declared safe, she breathes a tension-releasing sigh of relief before she bounds off again to play.

Boy
While in the process of digging dirt, bedraggled hands and murky knees, he comes across a line of ants. Bending closer, he giddily examines their slight bodies as they scurry around the ground. A reaction completely opposite that of his sister.

“Ant! Ant!”, he exclaims in bright animation as he clomps his finger down like Godzilla to pick one up and carries it over, basking in his find. He passes the black speck from his hand to mine like a gift, concerned and amused over his new friend. I don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s squished.

“We’ll just put the ant over here”, I goad as I brush off its remains and the boy returns with voracious eagerness to search for more.

Red and White and a Fun Mess All Over

May 24 2010 · comment 19 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: , ,

Abby does not like to sit in her highchair. Some days she tolerates it, but then others she would much rather run and play and shred toilet paper into a million tiny pieces. Understandable, sure. I am hungry, however, and I need her to settle down. To do so, I sometimes have to think outside of the square box I tend to find myself in.

Like normal, she scarfed down her noodles while my sandwich sat untouched. When she was done, I tried to reach for a bite, only to have her pulling at my arm and screaming in my ear. But there was tomato sauce left in her bowl. And I had an extra paper plate on the table.

Finger painting and playing with your food, all in one! Does it get any better?

Rarely do I drag the giant tub of crayons out of it’s hiding place far out of reach of little hands. I have yet to intentionally let my kids draw with markers or paint. It’s all too much of an unnecessary hassle, says a possibly excessively uptight mother. I am not crafty and I don’t think of myself as exceptionally creative with play. But this, saturated fingertips and a few marinara swirls on a paper plate. It was one of my better ideas, letting go of myself a bit. What’s more, I was able to eat in peace.