3 Years Old, On Paper

September 09 2011

Posted in: The Kids · Tags: Abby, life

No, Paper
It seems simple enough. My 3 year old daughter wants paper. There’s a stack of lined sheets that I put on the table, along with the blue marker she had previously opened. Except, it’s not right. She doesn’t want this paper, but I don’t know what she does want. I leave the paper on the table anyway, where my daughter then proceeds to throw a full-blown, 20 minute, queen of all tantrum.

“No paper! No paper! No! No! No paper!”, she screams repeatedly, crying from her steadfast position in the corner of the room.

Ear-piercing. She was adamant.

Yes, Paper
After so long, with not a break to be seen in the tantrum, I gathered the paper as she railed to put away. Except that was no longer right, either. No sooner did I have it together in my hands than her mind changed. Oh, for heaven’s sake.

“Paper! Paper! Paper! Give me that paper! PAPER!” she screamed and cried, still refusing to budge from the corner of the room.

Ear-piercing. She was adamant.

Who the hell knows anymore about the paper?
What I do know? 3 year olds are utterly mind-boggling and confusing. I sometimes feel so lost with her, at this age. But it seems like a lot of time and aggravation and eardrums we could have saved ourselves, here.

Spoon Mom

September 08 2011

Posted in: Daily · Tags: highly unusual, Jedi, motherhood

“Here, Jedi, look at me!”

It was meant as a fun offer, from a mother to a son. I huffed on the concave side of the stainless steel, forming a nonslip surface, and applied the cold utensil against the tip of my nose. There was excitement in my voice as the spoon obeyed just as intended.

“How am I balancing the spoon on my nose, Jedi? Is it magic?”

I thought he’d be impressed, maybe he’d try to do the trick himself. It’s these simple moments between a mother and son that are most remembered. Once the beginning step was perfected, we could then proceed to the next level of difficulty; hanging multiple spoons all over our faces. It could be like a game. We could be a traveling freak show family of dangling forehead kitchen utensils. The dreams, they were aplenty.

“Isn’t this cool?”, I asked heartily, the spoon still resting on the ledge of my nose.

Instead, he rolled his eyes and crushed my dreams.

“Stop it, Mom”, he urged, completely deadpan.

Says the kid who finds anything fart-related hilarious. Yes, it’s these simple moments between a son rolling his eyes at his mother who’s trying too hard with a cold spoon dangling from the tip of her nose that I’ll cherish for always. It really is magic, I say.

It’s a Bird, it’s a Plane, it’s Super Buzz!

September 07 2011

Posted in: The Kids · Tags: Buzz, good, of course

He bounded off the bus and grabbed my hand, heading straight for home. I could feel his grip tighten and his face grimace with a concerned concentration. Even though he was finished with school for the day, a super crime fighter’s work is never done. The real job was only about to begin.

His eyes began to narrow. There must have been trouble brewing, somewhere.

Upon opening our front door, he immediately vanished to his room, closing the door behind him. Like Superman in a telephone booth, transforming from his every day normal disguise. I trailed after, urging him along the way to remove and put up his shoes, but it was too late. There was already a shirt marking the path. Then I saw his shorts.

My son was no longer just my son. He was Super Buzz!

Ready to battle the world’s evil and take down all the bad guys. Or his bossy sister. Same thing.

In nothing but his Spiderman underwear and Batman ankle socks.

But there was still one thing missing, one item to help him glide through the air like a plane.

A cape!

It’s like he couldn’t stand to be trapped in his regular kid at school alter ego for one second longer. There was a mighty superhero anxious to emerge. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much safer with Super Buzz on the case.

Thanks, Grandma

September 05 2011

Posted in: The Kids · Tags: Abby, family

Selecting Abby’s outfit for the day can be a teeth-gnashing ordeal. There shouldn’t be much bickering, since she only wants to wear the same ensemble every day. Surprisingly, however, take issue with this. Especially when her cherished garments are out of season. Or dirty. Clean clothes, let alone a change now and then, they’re your friend.

As per usual on this day, she went for her normal attire. Black leggings and a striped long-sleeved shirt to layer upon. Though it was supposed to be a record high temperature of 103 that day and this would be like wearing a sauna. She needed to be presented with other options. I opened her dresser drawer and bravely suggested, complete with explanation, “It’s supposed to be really hot today, so why don’t we put on some shorts, or a dress?”.

Abby’s face turned into a pout as she formed a reply that sounded a lot like, “You’f a bonny”.

“Did you just call me a bunny?”, I asked her.

“No. You…”, she continued pointing her finger in my direction, articulating each word as clearly as she could with emphasis. “You full a baoni.”

Catching on, I offered, “I’m full of bologna? Did you learn that from Grandma?”.

“Yep. You full a baoni, Mommy”, she repeated.

In the end, we compromised, she sweated, and I’m still full of bologna. I can thank her grandma for that.

Marie Callender’s Frozen Lasagna

September 03 2011

Posted in: Reviews/Giveaways · Tags: sponsored

I could never be a food blogger. Mostly because I’m not a very able cook. It’s simply not my area of expertise. Just like I long for delicious home-cooked meals, I also dream about sitting at the table with my 3 smiling children as we jubilantly tell stories of our day, all while positioned pleasantly scooping spoonful bites in between tales. Some things just aren’t going to happen.

I’ve gotten a lot better over the years, though, especially recently. If I don’t cook, then we don’t eat. And if I’m going to spend the time and energy, I would like for it to taste good. But I still take a lot of help from prepackaged ingredients and frozen meals. In fact, I think I’ve tried them all.

Which is why I was excited to try Marie Callender’s new Three Meat and Four Cheese Lasagna.

Marie Callender’s claims that their frozen lasagna tastes like homemade. In fact, they’re so sure of it that they even offer a money back guarantee. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever had homemade lasagna. Clearly, my own mother was not big on labor-intensive meals, either. But I can say it was very good.

Their innovative baking tray minimizes burnt edges and promotes even cooking, even in the microwave where it only takes 19 minutes to heat through. I put mine in the oven, however. Where I think I may have left it in for too long because some of my noodles were overcooked and my cheese burned on top. Lessons learned.

I’m surprised I can boil water properly.

We all ate our hearty portion, though, and I found myself wishing I had more. Since I’m not a great fan of marinara, I may try one of their other bakes next time. Their Creamy Chicken Alfredo with Sun-dried Tomatoes looks particularly mouth-watering. Although my kids would probably love their Vermont White Cheddar Mac & Cheese.

This is a sponsored post on behalf of Marie Callender’s and TheMotherhood. I received a coupon for a free frozen lasagna and have been compensated for my time. All opinions, however, along with kitchen ineptitude, are 100% my own.