Peace and Quiet is Underrated

January 26 2010 · 12 Comments
Posted in: Daily · Tags: life

Some mornings just don’t seem like they’re worth getting out of bed for.

I begrudgingly trudge out of sleep already battling a migraine, with Maddie in tow. Ethan wakes up with a pitiful burst shortly after. I turn the television channel to the last few minutes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in an effort for peace, an extra second to rub my eyes open, and that’s when Jayden stumbles groggily out of his room. He notices that it’s the end, however, so the tears and whine flow before even a good morning.

“You haven’t wanted to watch Mickey Mouse in a long time, Jayden”, I remind him.

“But I wanted to watch it TODAY!”, he stammers in the midst of a fit.

Of course you did. Because you’re 6 and everything has to be difficult.

“Bring Mickey Mouse back NOW!”, he demands. Ignorance is bliss at this point.

He finally calms down, before everybody else starts up. Ethan screams at Maddie and Maddie screams at Ethan. Over toys, over books, over a breakfast muffin, over a spot on the chair, over oxygen in the air. Maddie throws a toy at Jayden, and he joins in again. “You should punish her!”, he bellows my way behind still-tired cries. “Don’t throw things at your brother”, I sternly offer, as her face melts into an angry pout.

When I think back to my life pre-children, what strikes me most is how quiet it was. Now, there’s so much noise radiating from the walls at all hours of the day. Even before 9 a.m. Which leaves me wondering, is it time to go back to bed yet?

18 Months

January 25 2010 · 6 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: letters, Maddie, milestones

Dear Madison,

At 18 months, Maddie, you are earning the name Little Shit outright. You have taken to hitting and biting as well as pinching, usually on Ethan, although the cat gets beat up, too. I can’t help but think this is a defense mechanism, and while probably needed, there are less hurtful options we need to explore. You are also loud enough to wake up astronauts orbiting in space, although this isn’t new.

Right after lunch, so her face is still messy.

As well as my little helper, you have also become a tattletale. You are exuberant and determined and I dare anyone try to take away whatever little piece has made it’s way into your shockingly strong grip. You test your boundaries daily, finding humor in my frustration. Stubborn and mischievous, I’m scared of what would happen if I took my eyes off of you for more than a minute. In other words, you are a typical, normal kid.

And yes, that is a summer dress over her pajamas.

But then, you stick your face right in front of mine for a kiss. “I love you”, you say, in jumbled beginner-speak. This makes everything else worthwhile.

You reach out to wrap your little hand around my finger as we walk, then you let go to run. Walking is for babies, apparently, and you, my dear girl, are no longer a baby. Though try as you might, you still have a bit of trouble keeping up. Then again, so do I.

What can I say? The girl has style.

I’m not gonna lie, these past 18 months haven’t been all sunshine and daisies. But one thing is certain: you are an amazing little girl and I am so proud and grateful to be your mom.

With all the love in my heart,
Me

Another First

January 21 2010 · 11 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: Jayden, milestones

None of the kids have ever been inside of a dark, you-need-to-whisper style movie theater. Honestly, we were scared. I’m always worried we’re going to come off as one of those parents. You know the kind, they usually receive multiple eye rolls. The drive-in, yes, but even that was a disaster the last few times we tried, which were before Maddie was even born. A disaster for me, anyway, since I was the one who felt the brunt of Ethan’s wrath.

J took the day off work yesterday, though, and got it in his head that he wanted to take Jayden to see Avatar. In 3D.

“What do you think?”, J asked me. “Do you think he’ll be OK to go?”

“It’s, like, a 3 hour movie”, I replied.

We hyped it up to Jayden anyway, and he was excited while I was a bit fearful, envisioning the worst. His loud voice getting constantly hushed and a million ants in his pants and so many trips to the bathroom during every pivotal scene. They went anyway. To eat popcorn. And candy. And gulp large fountain drinks (which might not be wise, actually, if trying to avoid bathroom breaks).

They sat quietly through the entire 3 hours, though, and only had to visit the bathroom once. After returning home, I asked Jayden how the movie was. Still clutching his 3D glasses, he beamed, “It was neat!”. If I was allowed to have 6 Reese’s peanut butter cups, a tub of popcorn, and a blue slushie, I’d probably think it was neat, too.

By Any Other Name

January 20 2010 · 9 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: Ethan, Maddie

Names were always an area of contention during my pregnancies. Except for Jayden’s, which I had my mind set on from the beginning. After our first born, nothing else clicked so completely. It was difficult for us to find a compromise. I’d get excited when I thought I came across the perfect moniker, only to have J turn up his nose. I would painstakingly write long lists for J to scour over, hoping to narrow down the field, and he’d veto every single one.

If it was up to me, Ethan would have been Keaton.
If it was up to J, he would have been Julian.

Since neither of us cared for the other’s preference, we put off the daunting task until the very last minute. As in the few hours between my water breaking and heading to the hospital. We worked through enough to get to Ethan, but then there was the matter of a middle name. A matter which was chosen on impulse and I’ve had a ping of regret ever since.

I’ve come to realize that Ethan fits him perfectly. Keaton or Julian do not. His middle name of Devin doesn’t, either.

The story of Maddie’s name is similar. Although in our defense, we thought we had a name until a series of phone calls occurred and we found that our choice was already taken somewhere along the line in J’s family. So that perfect first name became her middle name and we were back to square one. Which we forced ourselves to tackle the day before I went into labor. In all honesty, it’s a lovely name for a beautiful girl, but I don’t think she acts like a Madison. It’s too prim and proper. I believe something along the lines of Little Shit would have been more appropriate.

I Get It Now

January 19 2010 · 2 Comments
Posted in: Me Myself · Tags: family, motherhood

My mother isn’t known for having the best memory. If I told her something yesterday, I’ll no doubt have to repeat myself today. This goes with dates as well. Even growing up, she would get our birthdays confused. My brother’s is on the 22nd, mine on the 27th of different months, but I’ve had to correct her more often than I can count over the years. In truth, I was always a little put-off by this. If my mom can remember wheres she was when Elvis died, shouldn’t she know the moment her children entered the world? Maybe I’m biased, but shouldn’t there have been rainbows shining and hearts bursting and birds singing to mark the occasion?

I was making an appointment for the kids’ well-child checkups. The receptionist was looking up Maddie’s file first, by birthdate. July 26, 2008 is what I told her.

After looking for a few seconds, she relayed, “I don’t see her here.”

We’ve been going to this pediatrician since Maddie was a newborn. I know she’s there. I let her look for a few more seconds before I realized. Did I? I didn’t, did I? The 26th is Ethan’s birthday, in April. Maddie’s is the 24th. Isn’t it? I even found myself wishing I had their birth certificates in front of me.

“Um, I think I gave you the wrong day. Try July 24th, 2008.”

“Yep, there she is.”

I’m sorry, Mom. I get it know. I see many long years ahead of getting these two days utterly confused. Maddie and Ethan, I apologize in advance. I do love you both very much, there may have even been birds singing when you were born, but motherhood has made my brain shrivel.