Growing Colder

January 08 2010 · 6 Comments
Posted in: Daily · Tags: nostalgia, winter

In my head, I’m sometimes still a little girl. A little girl with big responsibilities. This is especially evident when it comes to any relevant amount of snow. The next morning, I find myself checking local television reports to see which school districts are closed with a ping of excitement.

Snow days just aren’t the same unless it snows enough to cancel school.

Yesterday was exactly that. I awoke to a blanket of blinding white shining through my windows. Like a kid, my first instinct was to peek outside at how many inches accumulated. It was calling for the young in us to play, to build snowmen, to sled. It was also calling for hot chocolate and cozy pajamas and staying warm indoors.

When you’re young, the snow doesn’t seem as cold. It’s simply spread in front of you like a pure, open canvas. Exciting, fun. And there you are, bundled up in so many layers you can barely move. The difference between being a child and now, with children of our own, is that there’s also the other side. Instead of snuggily sleeping in until noon, I’m awake by 8 a.m. regardless. J missed a day of work because of the conditions. He trudged outside and shoveled the driveway. The car had to be defrosted. I had to restrain Ethan from running outside in barefeet and shirtless. Daily chores still need completed, diapers still need changed. The brightness of the snow settled into a migraine later that afternoon.

In my head, I may sometimes be a little girl playing for hours in the snow. In reality, I’m a mother getting pelted by snowballs from her children, but quickly ready to go back inside where it’s warm.

Loose Tooth

January 06 2010 · 2 Comments
Posted in: Favorites, The Kids · Tags: Jayden, milestones

My oldest boy, he’s tall and lanky. He outgrows most of his clothes in the blink of an eye. His soft-scented newborn days seem so distant, ancient, yet just like yesterday. He likes video games and playing with toy guns and he pretends he’s a soldier battling zombies. Even though I’ve been in denial, it’s safe to say that he’s not a baby anymore. To further cement that fact, he has his first loose tooth.

It was noticed during his bath last night. A very slight wiggle. The few times we discussed it wasn’t enough preparation apparently. “My baby teeth will fall out and then I’ll get big boy teeth!”, he’d say excitedly. When the time came, however, he had a mini-meltdown. He wouldn’t let us see it. He didn’t want to talk about it. He even cried. Big, fat rolling tears down his cheeks.

“He doesn’t want you to know he’s growing up”, J confided.

I remember feeling incredibly nervous bringing him home from the hospital. I didn’t know what to do with a baby. There’s a lot of things I regret about those first few months: I set him in his swing too often, I gave up breastfeeding too soon, my moods wouldn’t settle, my head was unsure, I doubted more than I believed. Through it all, he made me a mother. We fought through the trenches and came out hand in hand. And now my once fragile little boy, with a mess of curly hair and sea of blue eyes, is on the verge of a giant leap into growing up.

After he finally calmed down later that night, he urged optimistically, “Maybe it’ll fall out tomorrow!” It’s not going to be that soon, but it seems to be time I craft together some Tooth Fairy wings.

What is the going rate for a tooth these days?

This is Why I Shouldn’t Clean

January 05 2010 · 2 Comments
Posted in: Me Myself · Tags: life, of course I did

We were just down the road when J realized he forgot something in the house and had to turn around. He was going to be quick, so the kids and I stayed buckled in. Since it was arctic enough for hell to freeze over, he didn’t want to take his set of keys out of the ignition, asking for mine instead. This is when my life flashed before my eyes. At least the past week, anyway.

Oh crap, I thought. The last time I used my house key was when I was still carrying a diaper bag. The diaper bag that was dirty and gross and smelled like a juxtaposition of stale bodily fluids. Which, as luck would have it, instead of tossing in the laundry, I happened to throw out in the trash a few days prior during one of my purge and organize frenzies. With keys most likely still inside. Of course, I couldn’t tell this to J. I’d never hear the end of it.

“I don’t have my key”, I said calmly, while subconsciously kicking myself.

I waited until J left for work the next morning. As soon as Jayden muddled out of bed, I put him in charge briefly while I scurried right outside the front door. Fortunately, two things were working in my favor: trash pick-up wasn’t until Wednesday and I knew, generally, where to dig. Unfortunately, my fingers were quick to numb and garbage is still garbage no matter how you spin it.

Given that the suspense is ineffable, I’ll let you know that I found my key hidden amongst the 32 diaper bag pockets. I also found Ethan’s Social Security card. On second thought, I decided to bring the diaper bag back inside and wash it. Who knows what other Very Important Things I’ve forgotten in there.

New Year, Same Story

January 04 2010 · 4 Comments
Posted in: Daily · Tags: holiday, life

They say that the way you ring in the new year is an indication of how you’ll spend the rest of your year.

This New Year’s was mostly just like any other. I put Ethan and Maddie to bed at their normal time. J, Jayden, and myself stayed up until a little after 11. The only beverage I drank was of the caffeinated variety, non-alcoholic. We didn’t have a party to attend or a reason to slip on a fancy dress. We munched on snacks and watched Ryan Seacrest. The New Year was ushered in an hour early, as the ball fell on Times Square, because midnight in the midwest timezone can be anticlimatic. We hold out hope that one of these years we’ll make it to New York to celebrate in style.

I buried my head in the covers shortly after, my eyes heavy and tired. I remember falling asleep just minutes before our official start of 2010.

If it really is any indication, this year will be a lot like last.

We are, by most accounts, very boring. Most days blend into one another, spent in our pajamas. However, I wouldn’t trade these boring days, these months, these years, with this family, for anything. Life isn’t stationary, but free of drama. It goes with the flow. Boring is healthy and relatively happy, save for a few minor frustrations. While it doesn’t make for very exciting blog fodder, boring can be very good.

If this is how I spend the rest of the year, it could be a lot worse.

Retrospect: 2009

December 31 2009 · 1 Comment
Posted in: General · Tags: lists, teh internetz

With a start of a new year tomorrow, a look back at a few of my favorite entries, as inspired by Jill at Scary Mommy. Keep in mind, I just started this site in May.

In May, my daughter tried to bust her pediatrician’s eardrums with her wails. So she has a temper. Who knew?

In June, Ethan mistook any passing elderly woman for his grandma. Good times.

In July, I thought I was brilliant. Really friggin’ brilliant.

In August, I was ready to get my body back. I’m still ready, but there’s a certain little girl who is not.

In September, Jayden sent a friend request to a rubber ducky. Good thing it was accepted.

In October, I reminisced about bad breath during childbirth.

In November, I was reminded why I don’t drive very often, especially with kids in the car.

In December, I was, or I should say I am, done. Full. Complete.

Not wanting to repeat myself, I tried to select different entries from those listed in the sidebar. If you’re still in need of things to read after this, though, be sure to check those out, too.

2010, let’s make it a good one. Happy New Year, everyone!