Archive for the ‘FAIL’ Tag
August 17 2010 ·
14 CommentsPosted in:
The Kids · Tags:
Buzz,
FAIL,
milestones There’s a rule in this house: the bathroom door is always locked. It’s for Buzz’s own safety, since there’s any number of drawers he could open, q-tips to dispense, paper to unroll, toilet water to splash, cabinets with medicine to get into, bathtubs to hide in. Not that I know any of this from experience.
OK, fine, I know it ALL from experience.
Everyone is aware of this rule. In fact, Jedi even has a special “key” on hand to come and go as needed.
The problem with this plan is that Buzz is aware of the key, too, which is really nothing more than a quarter. It’s flat edge rests perfectly in the thin groove of the lock. If given the chance, he can, and will, still get inside without problem.
I was busy cooking dinner while J ran to the store for a few quick essentials. I heard Buzz making noise, playing, and thought he was keeping himself kindly occupied with his sister. I should have known better. Buzz is never just kindly occupied with his sister.
It seems he hijacked the key when I wasn’t looking. J returns home to find Buzz in the bathroom, a quadruple blade razor in hand. Attempting, and failing, to shave his legs like Mommy.
There may have been blood. And loss of skin.
My boy’s first shaving accident.
We’re going to need a better lock.
August 02 2010 ·
19 CommentsPosted in:
Daily · Tags:
FAIL,
Jedi The beginning of the school year is growing near and we’ve begun getting Jedi ready in an attempt to start off on the right foot. This involves a lot of primping. Yesterday was spent shopping for clothes. Then, we brought him in to Salón de Casa for a haircut. In other words, we chopped it ourselves.
We purchased a hair-cutting kit a few months back. It seemed easy enough and a lot cheaper in the long run than visiting a salon for every trim. This past weekend was our second attempt at shearing the boy’s strands. Which means we may have gotten a bit cocky with the equipment.
All was going well at first. A simple buzz through with the razor and accompanied length attachment makes the job almost idiot proof. Until I starting thinking we were the next step to professionals.
“There’s an ear-trimming attachment here. We didn’t use it last time and the hair around his ears bothered me. Why don’t we try it?”, I suggested to J. Famous last words.
Really, it didn’t come out that bad. If you don’t pay any attention to the giant bald spot on the left side of his head, anyway. I’m sure it can be covered up with a hat. Or big pretty bow. Maybe he’ll start a new trend for the elementary set. I’m just hoping it grows back a bit in the few weeks left before school starts.
On the plus side, there’s no hair around his ears to bother me now.
June 22 2010 ·
11 CommentsPosted in:
Daily · Tags:
Buzz,
FAIL,
life A few months back, J took Jedi on his first real movie theater outing to watch Avatar in 3D. I was expecting the worst, but was pleasantly surprised when they came back smiling, saying they had a great time. J thought he’d brave the same experience with Buzz yesterday evening, for Toy Story 3.
It didn’t go as well.
In fact, they left the movie early. Not too early, but before the end. Apparently, my sensitive, tender son began to scream when he thought his favorite cowboy toy was getting hurt. I think it was Woody. Could have been Lightyear. All I know is, my Buzz didn’t appreciate it. Or so I’ve been told. J would get him calmed down, stuff his maw with Reese’s Pieces, just to have him start screaming again a short time later.
“Oh, well, his concern is kind of cute”, I said in response.
J, giving me a dirty look, “No, it wasn’t.”
Buzz then came home to have an hour-long fit of magnificent proportions.
Good times!
It’s safe to say this will be his one and only theater experience for awhile longer. Obviously, he’s just not ready. I’m sure he’ll love the movie if given a chance, we’ll just have to wait until it comes out on DVD. That way, he can scream as loudly as he wants in the privacy of his own home like normal.
February 05 2010 ·
9 CommentsPosted in:
The Kids · Tags:
Abby,
FAIL Mistake #1 was giving my daughter a chocolate chip cookie.
I didn’t think she’d eat it, though. She’s still not very fond of feeling anything with texture on her tongue. Figuring she’d get bored of it in 5 minutes, I gave it to her for something to hold in her hand. I watched her for a few minutes with it, until I was content enough that she wouldn’t try to jam the entire thing down her throat.
Mistake #2 was forgetting that I gave my daughter the cookie.
More time elapsed until Jedi came out, with a look of disgust. That isn’t saying a lot, however, since the boy has the gag reflex of a fly. “Abby has something on her hands!”
Her hands? Oh, right. She still has that? “It’s just cookie”, I told him nonchalantly as I returned to checking on twitter what I was doing.
“Just go see!”, he urged.
Always one to oblige, I put my laptop down put a halt to the important matter I was attending to and went back to where they had been playing. There, I found my darling Abby. Covered in mushy cookie remnants and a look of “what the hell?”. All over her face and between her fingers and down her pink shirt. I grabbed a towel to wipe her clean and that’s when I saw the rest of the cookie. Chocolate chip tracks smeared across my bed.
Lesson learned, indeed.
December 01 2009 ·
4 CommentsPosted in:
The Kids · Tags:
Abby,
FAIL,
life Abby has been in desperate need of winter clothing. She’s been wearing the same size too small pair of pink pants and purple Sesame Street hoodie since the cold weather struck. All of her dresses are summer style, and it doesn’t matter how ridiculously adorable the outfit is, short sleeves won’t cut it when it’s snowing.
J ventured out on Black Friday. Not super crazy at 5 a.m., but crazy enough at 10. Along with the first few Christmas presents of the season, which is another entry unto itself since we are the Kingdom of Procrastination, he bought Abby a couple of much needed winter dresses. Just the fact that he is trying to purchase a girl some clothes is enough to sound the alarms.
He called, wondering what size he should get. I told him. When he called back a few minutes later, on his way to a different store, I asked if the dresses came with tights or leggings. He said no. I asked if he could try to find some. Again, bare legs might be a little cold when it’s snowing.
When he returned home alive and intact from the Black Friday madness, I inspected his purchases. The dresses were surprisingly nice. One red, one black. Both simple corduroy with classic flower embroidery by the bottom hem. The red one will look cute for Christmas.
The leggings, though. They’re bad. Let’s put it this way; Abby, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for your father’s fashion blunders now. You should see how he tries to dress your brothers sometimes. We’ll be on the lookout for leggings or tights that aren’t psychedelic, and maybe even match, hopefully before the first snowfall.
