Lesson Learned

February 05 2010 · 9 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: FAIL, Maddie

Mistake #1 was giving my daughter a chocolate chip cookie.

I didn’t think she’d eat it, though. She’s still not very fond of feeling anything with texture on her tongue. Figuring she’d get bored of it in 5 minutes, I gave it to her for something to hold in her hand. I watched her for a few minutes with it, until I was content enough that she wouldn’t try to jam the entire thing down her throat.

Mistake #2 was forgetting that I gave my daughter the cookie.

More time elapsed until Jayden came out, with a look of disgust. That isn’t saying a lot, however, since the boy has the gag reflex of a fly. “Maddie has something on her hands!”

Her hands? Oh, right. She still has that? “It’s just cookie”, I told him nonchalantly as I returned to checking on twitter what I was doing.

“Just go see!”, he urged.

Always one to oblige, I put my laptop down put a halt to the important matter I was attending to and went back to where they had been playing. There, I found my darling Maddie. Covered in mushy cookie remnants and a look of “what the hell?”. All over her face and between her fingers and down her pink shirt. I grabbed a towel to wipe her clean and that’s when I saw the rest of the cookie. Chocolate chip tracks smeared across my bed.

Lesson learned, indeed.

A Style of His Own

December 01 2009 · 4 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: FAIL, life, Maddie

Maddie has been in desperate need of winter clothing. She’s been wearing the same size too small pair of pink pants and purple Sesame Street hoodie since the cold weather struck. All of her dresses are summer style, and it doesn’t matter how ridiculously adorable the outfit is, short sleeves won’t cut it when it’s snowing.

J ventured out on Black Friday. Not super crazy at 5 a.m., but crazy enough at 10. Along with the first few Christmas presents of the season, which is another entry unto itself since we are the Kingdom of Procrastination, he bought Maddie a couple of much needed winter dresses. Just the fact that he is trying to purchase a girl some clothes is enough to sound the alarms.

He called, wondering what size he should get. I told him. When he called back a few minutes later, on his way to a different store, I asked if the dresses came with tights or leggings. He said no. I asked if he could try to find some. Again, bare legs might be a little cold when it’s snowing.

When he returned home alive and intact from the Black Friday madness, I inspected his purchases. The dresses were surprisingly nice. One red, one black. Both simple corduroy with classic flower embroidery by the bottom hem. The red one will look cute for Christmas.

The leggings, though. They’re bad. Let’s put it this way; Maddie, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for your father’s fashion blunders now. You should see how he tries to dress your brothers sometimes. We’ll be on the lookout for leggings or tights that aren’t psychedelic, and maybe even match, hopefully before the first snowfall.

I Think My Kids Are Trying to Kill Themselves

November 12 2009 · 3 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: FAIL, Maddie

Did I tell you about the time a 32 inch television fell on my daughter?

No?

Oh man, is it a funny story! Hahaha! Ha… ha…

Ok, no, it’s not funny. It’s not funny at all. In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I have nightmares about it. And there’s really not much of a story to it. I don’t know how it happened. All I do know is that I heard a crash from the bedroom. I rushed in to find my Maddie trapped under the screen, screaming for help. I managed to lift it off of her and was relieved when she crawled away on her own. I was expecting the worst. Actually, I didn’t know what to expect.

J had just left for the grocery store, but I needed to call him. If nothing else, I needed someone to calm me down. She was still crying and screaming in my ear when I called. I looked her over and she seemed fine. He asked if he needed to come home. I said I thought she was ok.

She was ok. She is ok. A nasty bruise on the side of her face. Bruises heal. In a few days, it will look as if it never happened. It goes along well with a chin scrape she acquired the day after and the lump on her forehead from attacking a bookshelf. Her pretty face is a roadmap of accidents this week.

But I can’t stop thinking about it. It could have been so much worse.

I don’t know how it happened. All I know is that we need to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Just a Nosebleed

September 03 2009 · 6 Comments
Posted in: The Kids · Tags: Ethan, FAIL

When I first heard Ethan cry, I figured it was the same as always. Jayden was a little too rough with him, maybe slapped him on the back. I told Jayden to stop, play nice, and went about my business. I heard Ethan run into the front room, but still didn’t think anything of it. Usually, he just wants me to quickly comfort and reassure him before he goes back to chasing his brother.

I was in the middle of something that I thought was important at the time, but my god how stupid it all seems now, so I didn’t notice him right away. I could hear him next to me, still muffling tears, grabbing at my shirt. When I finally turned around, I saw blood.

Everywhere.

My heart sank.

And that’s when everything stopped. Nothing else was important. Nothing else mattered. My precious little boy. In a way that completely mortified and broke my heart. His face was streaked in red, his arms, hands, where he was grabbing at my shirt. I should have noticed it when he first needed me.

It was just a nosebleed. Jayden hit him and it was just a nosebleed. Just a nosebleed. I don’t care how many times I say it, it doesn’t seem like just a nosebleed. The biggest punishment Jayden can receive during the day is if I say I’m going to tell his father when he gets home, and you better believe I told him every minute detail that night.