Archive for the ‘life’ Tag
August 16 2010 ·
11 CommentsPosted in:
Daily · Tags:
Jedi,
life,
motherhood The start of school approaching has kicked my butt in gear on a number of tasks I’ve been avoiding. Such as taking Jedi on his first trip to the dentist. I’ve had it in mind that there would be plenty of screaming and kicking and maybe a punch or two. Surprisingly, there was none of that. There was only poop.
While we were waiting in a packed area filled with other kids and families, Jedi remarked boisterously, “I’ve gotta go potty! Oh, no! I think I’ve gotta go STINKY!”.
I motioned him over amidst chuckles from the other waiting room patrons and explained with the slightest whisper, “When they call you back, let her know that you have to go potty. Don’t say stinky, just potty. Nobody else has to know you have to take a poop.”
He told me he understood and went back to sit again. Soon, his name was called and he promptly informed her of his need to potty like I told him to. I wasn’t allowed back with him, but I could hear him clear as day from outside the thin door. He seemed to occupy that bathroom for many, many minutes. Long enough for the dental assistant to take a couple phone calls. I then realized I forgot to remind him to flush the toilet.
Finally, I heard the door open and his little voice declare, “I’m all done.”
What I didn’t hear was a gush of water.
“I hope he flushed the toilet”, I whispered to myself, out loud, into my hand.
The things you never thought you’d worry about before you have kids.
August 10 2010 ·
13 CommentsPosted in:
Daily · Tags:
food stuffs,
life We have new next door neighbors. This is a good thing, since the people who lived in that house previously broke our car’s rear window last year. It was an accident, sure, but feelings soured very quickly, especially after they refused to pay for it.
The new neighbors are older. I’ve seen the man sitting outside a few times and we’ve waved. I’m not the most social, so this is my curmudgeonly attempt at being friendly.
Over the weekend, he witnessed my parents come and go. On one of those occasions, he stopped my dad before he could shuffle his way inside. He asked how many kids I had then retreated briefly. A few seconds later, he returned bearing gifts.
Two peaches.
“For the kids”, he offered kindly.
Which is all very nice. I’m not against fruit. I wish my kids ate fruit. Obviously, though, he doesn’t know my kids.
I’ve had to place these peaches on top of the refrigerator, out of their immediate reach. If I hadn’t, I’m certain I’d be cleaning peach mush out of my carpet courtesy of Buzz. They think they’re toys. Round, fuzzy toys. Fuzzy balls, if you want to go there. Jedi just wanted to walk around with one in his hand. I told him if he touched the peach, he had to eat it. He promptly backed away and hasn’t so much as looked at it since.
You’ve succeeded in a positive first impression, Mr. Neighbor Guy. But if you really want to win (me and) my kids over, you need to come bearing chocolate next time.
August 09 2010 ·
13 CommentsPosted in:
Daily · Tags:
life,
this sucks,
weekend I would have gladly taken a getaway to New York City this past weekend.
But instead of a plush hotel bed all to myself, I was shoved to the edge of ours by small feet in the back after finally getting all 3 kids to sleep without assistance, which required more maneuvering and luck than I can adequately express. Instead of drinks and belly laughs past 2 a.m. with a circle of good friends that I could have so desperately used, I was hoping that no one would wake up crying or barfing. Instead of days spent taking in the sights and sounds of a bustling city, I spent those days as the only referee stuck within these walls listening to repetitive demands and high pitched screaming and nonstop bickering. Instead of feeling revitalized, I’ve just about lost my mind.
Instead of taking some well deserved time for myself away from it all like so many blog-minded women were able to enjoy this past weekend, I was stuck in the middle of it. I spent Thursday through Sunday parenting solo while J was out of town for work.
I’m used to being the main parent for the majority of the day. However, we have a routine. There are a number of tasks J helps with that I normally take for granted, such as bedtimes and teeth brushing and baths and corralling everyone for dinner. I did buckle down and ask my parents to just give me a break already, but still. 3 kids by myself for over 3 days is exhausting.
Someone got screwed in this deal.
That someone was me. Though the kids haven’t fared so well, either.
August 04 2010 ·
18 CommentsPosted in:
The Kids · Tags:
Abby,
life I’m sorry if you read this yesterday. I hit publish instead of save draft by accident.
My daughter is now 2 years old and it still gives me heart palpitations every time she climbs on the couch. I immediately worry that she’ll fall. Abby’s just so tiny and her balance still isn’t completely up to par and that’s my baby, darn it. Don’t hurt my baby.
I’ve been trying to let it go, however. Because now, I have greater worries. She’s been following in her brother’s footsteps again, right on top of tables.
I was on the phone with my mother a few days back when she not only scaled the living room table, but then began jumping on top of it. With phone in hand, I immediately sprang into action, swooping her off the slippery surface. “No, Abby! No, no, no!”, I scolded. Right in my mother’s ear. “Don’t do that again, you’ll get boo-boo’s!”
My mom has to love our phone conversations these days. Though it’s her fault for not understanding email.
No sooner did I put her down than Abby runs for the couch. I try to breathe and let it go, continuing our conversation. When I glance again, my daughter’s hopping from cushion to cushion on all four’s. Then bounces herself off with a splat to the floor. I screeched and lurched as fast as I could, but she still came away with her first fat lip. “Boo-boo’s, Abby! BOO-BOO’S!” Right in my mother’s ear.
If I could circle a moment in bold red marker it would be that, right there, that is why I should just invest in a toddler-sized bodysuit of bubble wrap.
July 21 2010 ·
13 CommentsPosted in:
The Kids · Tags:
Abby,
life At first, she was like MacGuyver with a minimally damp wet wipe and a green crayon. It took me a few minutes to realize what exactly Abby was doing. Then I noticed her clumsy hands fumbling to wrap the cloth around the colorful stick. When that didn’t go as intended, she carried her items to me in earnest. “Baby!”, she shrieked.
All of the dolls sitting untouched and she’s babying a crayon.
I played along and swaddled it convincingly enough. She then held the crayola stick tenderly by her face. Until her “baby” fell out of it’s enclosure.
Maybe her father could do better, I’m sure she expected, so she tried to get him involved in the game next. She walked up to him and demanded, “Daddy! Baby!”.
Clearly not paying attention, he wondered, “What?”.
“She wants you to wrap the crayon up like a baby”, I told him flippantly.
“Why would I wrap a crayon up like a baby?”, he asked, bewildered.
Why is the sky blue? Why does ice cream taste so good? Why do the kids go batcrap insane an hour before bedtime? Why ask questions? It is what it is. “Because she wants you to.” He should’ve known that answer by now. What more of a reason do you need?
Though I don’t know what he was complaining about. I’m the one who was later forced to snuggle the “baby”. All he had to do was wrap it once in a wet wipe.
