Archive for the ‘lists’ Tag
July 01 2011
1.) At noon, pick up the mound of toys that had been dumped out during the morning.
2.) An hour later, hear those toys being dumped out yet again.
3.) Then some more, into a massive, mixed pile.
4.) Before dinner, pick up the 2nd round of those familiar toys while silently fuming.
5.) In the middle of making dinner, hear those toys dumped out AGAIN.
6.) “REALLY, guys! You’ve got to be kidding me! Didn’t I JUST put these away? Can you at least help clean this up?” No one helps to clean it up.
7.) Sit down to eat dinner but are unable to enjoy your meal because you keep cursing those stupid toys in your head. After dinner, throw the 3rd round of toys in their bins.
8.) 10 minutes before bedtime, hear YET ANOTHER pile of toys dumped out AGAIN.
9.) “Oh, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”, you declare to no one in particular. Pick up while swearing and telling each stupid little toy that you hate it, you really, really hate it, you stupid piece of crap. Yeah, I’m talking to you. I can hear you, you know. What? What’s that? Oh, you think so? You better shut it or I’ll pop your stupid head off.
10.) Go to bed and dream of creative ways to dwindle the pile of insolent toys. Many of which may involve fire.
June 06 2011
Today is Jedi’s last day of 1st grade. He’ll be there for 2 hours this morning to pick up a report card and say goodbyes, before coming home. For the entire summer. 3 long months.
In honor of the occasion, a list of what we’ve learned this year:
- 1st grade math is not a strong subject for either of us. I’m afraid I may have to acquire a calculator by next fall.
- Jedi likes girls. A lot of girls.
- Look nice when attending school events, because they will take pictures and they will post those pictures online.
- School portraits are much more hassle and more meaningful than I would have ever previously imagined.
- Don’t buy expensive supplies. They just get lost/broken/passed around.
- Kindergarten is more fun than 1st grade.
- Jedi’s teachers have said he has problems adjusting to change, but it seems to me he’s done remarkably well.
- I will proudly and without hesitation turn into “that mom” whenever my child receives any kind of award at a ceremony.
- Jedi is not very good at sports, but he likes to run.
- When you keep your child home because he doesn’t feel well, most times he will magically feel better an hour later. Though not always.
- Bullies can sometimes turn into best friends.
- You become the most popular kid in class when you bring an iPad to recess.
- Bananas that have burst open in a backpack are gross to clean out.
- Any day is a good day when you get to play on the school computers.
- It’s a lot quieter when Jedi isn’t home. I miss him during the day, so I’ll be glad to spend the summer with him. But I’m already counting down until he goes back as a 2nd grader, with Buzz attending kindergarten. Now that I’m looking forward to.
June 02 2011
The opportunity to get behind the lens and capture moments with photographs has grown fleeting these days. When Jedi was a younger youngster, I would carry my camera everywhere. I’d snap pictures of him doing everything and nothing. Some of my favorite photos are of him just goofing off. I was proud of the set of images that accumulated. With each subsequent sibling, however, the new snapshots are less and less. I could blame it on the second, or third, child syndrome, or how I just need a DSLR, which is true. But there’s a much bigger reason than that.
My subjects are less than cooperative anymore, to put it kindly.
When I do take pictures, it’s usually of Abby. I admit I play favorites, but I have my reasons.
She’ll pose
If I ask her to stand a certain way, she’ll oblige. When I prod her to smile, she will, usually bigger than intended. The boys simply do not follow direction, giving me surly looks or picking their nose instead.
She stays still
She’ll wait until I have the shot to move on, while the boys are too eager to run. Without exaggeration, 90% of the pictures I have of Buzz are nothing more than a blur of color. I can almost make out his shape in a few, and it’s sad that I consider those keepers.
She asks me to
Abby will dress up for the sole purpose of a photo shoot, while trying to persuade Jedi into a frame is on par with jabbing a toothpick in my eye. And that’s just not pleasant.
Even my daughter has her limits, though. As do I. Which is why my camera is seldom seen and largely neglected these days.
May 18 2011
What my 2.5 year old daughter, Abby, is currently into:
Playing Cards
Not for playing with, mind you. She carries 3 open decks of special Easter edition bunny cards with her everywhere. And they must be in a certain order, with a preferred rabbit sitting on top. It makes the 100 times a day that we play pickup all the more enjoyable.
Nutella
Nutella is a recent find in our house, though I’m not sure what took so long. We all love it. Maybe a little too much. Where my oldest will at least use pretzels to administer his like dip, my daughter dives in mouth first. I’m more prone to follow her lead.
Asking “What, Mommy?” or “What you doing, Mommy?”
Except it’s more like, “What you doing, Mommy? What, Mommy? What? What? What? What? What?”, until I’m worn down enough to answer. “I’m just going to the bathroom, Abby.” It makes me almost glad that Buzz skipped this step.
Temperature-inappropriate clothing
Abby is still stuck in winter and refuses to come out. I actually bribed her in a spring dress the other day, but only because I let her keep her favorite corduroy pants on under. She won’t wear a short-sleeve shirt unless it’s layered. I feel I’ve won if it’s 80 degrees and I can keep her out of a hoodie.
Ducks
We have the same duck couple that returns to our area of the neighborhood every spring. If we see them nearby, we’ll stand on our porch to toss a couple pieces of bread. Abby is charmed, of course. So now, every time I open the door, it’s “What, Mommy? Ducks? Duckies? Bread? What? What? What? What?”.
February 03 2011
This goes on the list of things I’ve been terrified of happening that actually happened but by the grace of God could have been worse, though we could have avoided any injury at all if my kids would just listen to me.
Yeah, that list.
The list that before this included:
1. Jedi choking on a chicken nugget when he was 2 (little bites!)
2. Jedi falling 6 feet on to a metal platform, headfirst (watch where you’re going!)
3. A big screen TV falling on a barely 1 year old Abby (what can you say to that, really)
(For some strange reason, none of these include my local hell-on-wheels, Buzz. Maybe that’s because every day with him seems like a near-death experience.)
I can now add one more:
4. Abby falling off the couch hitting the side of her head on the sharp edge of a table (be careful!)
I was never a dangerous child growing up. Sure, I’d climb trees, and I had a run-in with the pavement after falling off my bike a couple of times, but I never broke a bone or needed stitches. I knew Abby’s wound wasn’t deep, but the placement, above her temple on her hairline, and width made me unsure if it made a trip to the ER necessary. Luckily, my parents were already on their way over. My mother helped me clean the gash and apply a cold compress to combat swelling along with a bandage. I watched my daughter like a hawk for the rest of the day, but soon enough she was back to her old tricks, like it never happened. Kids, they’re a resilient, crazy sort.
She also still doesn’t listen to me. I wish they’d realize that I don’t say “be careful” for nothing, you know.
I'm Crystal. A 30-something mom to 3 young kids living in the Midwest USA. When I'm not chasing my children, I'm a freelance writer and web designer. I like to tell stories from our days and share what we enjoy...
