Archive for the ‘this sucks’ Tag
May 03 2012
Yesterday, with a bit of time to waste, Abby and I visited a thrift store with my mom. I’ve always been fond of finding a good bargain. I get giddy, actually. As seen in my closet, where, as just one example, my favorite sweater is a treasure from Goodwill, bought for $3 a few years back.
Our trip yesterday was another score. I came away with 3 shirts, a pair of capris, and a pair of jeans. All 5 pieces for $25. It wasn’t the cheapest of thrift lots, but I was still very impressed with my purchases.
I was eager to try the new-to-me items on when we came home. Especially the jeans. I had been going back and forth on those in the store, but I decided to take a chance. I slid them on, and I was instantly glad I had. Like butter. My thighs said aw, yeah.
It was like they had been waiting in that thrift store just for me.
They fit where they were supposed to fit. There was a bit of stretch so I could move without being pinched, or having rolls escape. The length couldn’t have been better, either, cascading to my heel. I’ve never had a pair of jeans fit this well.
I was seriously giving myself a mental high five.
Still wearing the jeans that I now refused to remove from my body, I bent down to sit. And that’s when we had a difference of opinion. They ripped.
Right down the crotch.
I know I bought these jeans on a discount, but that’s not exactly what I bargained for. It’s a good thing I’m not that easily offended.
March 20 2012
Nothing but horror stories begin in the bathroom.
This one is no exception.
It didn’t seem like it would end up that way. There was no way to tell. The day was beautiful, an ocean blue sky overhead. Who would have ever thought such a turn of events was about to occur. If I knew, I would have ran. Found somewhere else to be in that moment. Because it did, in ways unimaginable.
If this were a scary movie, now is when escalating music would begin playing in the background as hearts beat faster.
Buzz, he was just trying to play. He didn’t mean it. But to the bathroom he brought a toy in his delighted voice, showing off its many features. Darth Maul, from Star Wars. One of the bad guys, quite fitting. That was the action figure he held out for me to see as he finished what you do in the bathroom. I thought he had a hold of it. I’m sure he did, too.
When suddenly, the room shifted dark. I never saw it coming.
Darth Maul tumbled out of his fingers.
Into the toilet water that hadn’t yet been flushed.
Such a horrible sight. I am not a hero, but there was nothing else I could do. So I reached in. Darth Maul may have been easy to wash off, erasing the evidence like nothing happened. I wish I could say the same for my hand. It may never return to normal again. It’s now seen too much. We all have.
February 20 2012
It involves a lot of cursing.
Somehow, in the middle of the night, my daughter got a glob of Silly Putty adhered to her favorite fleece nightgown as well as the elastic band on the leg of her underwear. My kids bring all sorts of weird things to bed with them, but this was new. When I studied the situation in the morning, I realized it wasn’t going to be easy to come out. But eventually, it did. Sort of.
This is what I did, step by step.
1.) I cursed.
2.) But then I Googled. There were a surprising array of answers ranging from applying WD40 to Goo Gone to lighter fluid. Why yes, setting the pieces on fire would solve my problem, I suppose. The easiest suggestion, though, was to freeze the Silly Putty then scrape it off.
3.) I set the articles in the freezer for approximately 15 minutes. Once enough time elapsed, I sacrificed a butter knife and began to scrape against the fibers. I scraped and scraped. It wasn’t working.
4.) At which point, I cursed some more.
5.) Next, I tried Goo Gone, which is a magic adhesive releaser. I applied a generous amount with a cotton ball on the puttied areas, letting it set in. Then, I took the same sacrificial butter knife and scraped. After a lot of careful scraping, most of the Silly Putty was removed, though not all. The sticky remainder wouldn’t budge.
6.) I gave up.
7.) I cursed even more.
Eventually, I found a great way to remove the Silly Putty. Throw the thing away and buy new. Because even if it’s your favorite, it’s just not worth.
February 13 2012
Our central heat stopped working Saturday afternoon. As such, we’ve spent the weekend trying not only to keep warm in the face of 12ºF nights until the part needed could be ordered and repaired today, but also sustain our good humor. Here are 6 games we made up specifically for the occasion to pass the time, if you should ever find yourself in the same unfortunate situation:
1. How Many Layers Can You Wear: A fun game that involves putting on every article of clothing you can find, until you either run out of pieces to wear or are so padded you can no longer move your arms to put more on.
2. Who Is the Coldest: Where you go around the house asking those playing how they are on a scale from cold to freezing. Whoever is the coldest wins an extra blanket.
3. Musical Space Heaters: Which room needs to be heated next and which space heater should we use and where, exactly, to be of most benefit? A particularly rousing game played at bedtime.
4. I Freeze, You Freeze, We All Freeze for Ice Cream: A game that is best played individually, where you gauge if the extra goose bumps would be worth it for a bowl of fudge brownie ice cream. The game is fixed, however, since it’s always worth it.
5. What Can I Bake Next: This can be particularly challenging for those who are not bakers, but the goal is to keep your oven running continuously to give off more heat. Though there are usually multiple winners, because who doesn’t love baked goods.
6. Cold Feet: How cold can you go? Walk along a long stretch of subzero degree hard flooring in bare feet first thing in the morning. Only the strongest make it there and back.
January 02 2012
So, 2011 sucked.
There’s no sense pussyfooting around it. Last year sucked, excessively. It sucked hard. It was a terribly awful year where every time I turned around another bad thing was happening, to where I just wanted to throw my hands up and surrender at life. Come to think of it, 2010 wasn’t much better. It’s hard to make lemonade when all the juice has already been sucked dry.
Cue the tiny violins.
Because then, there’s perspective. Everyone I love and that matters is still here. It’s not easy, but we’re making it, together. My children are resilient and flourishing. And even though I’ve been knocked down, repeatedly, I’m still standing. Beat up black and blue, but on my feet.
I believe 2012 has to be better.
Dear lord, it has to be.
Which is why I’m making 2012 about finding my happy.
In case I didn’t make it clear yet, last year wasn’t filled with many happy moments. I have not been happy. For a long time, my days have been barely functioning. Something has to change. It’s not a resolution. I don’t expect anything miraculous. I just need to find my direction. To begin taking the right steps, wherever I’m supposed to go, towards a better place of happier. Because essentially, I just want to feel like I can laugh again.
I'm Crystal. A 30-something mom to 3 young kids living in the Midwest USA. When I'm not chasing my children, I'm a freelance writer and web designer. I like to tell stories from our days and share what we enjoy...
